Diary Of A Born Again Christian

"Be still, and know that I am God."

A lengthy introduction.

on May 17, 2012

In March of 2011, I gave birth to my son, Kylan. When I became a mother, I started to see the world in a different light. Well, not in a different light, rather, I started to see the world as it really is. Teenagers are having babies younger, disease is spreading through out the world, murder is all over the headlines, politicians are pushing their agendas on unsuspecting and trusting prey, children and babies are suffering from abuse, the list goes on. It made me think, “What will the world be like when Kylan is my age, and what can I do to raise him to be a kind, compassionate person?” My mother suggested on quite a few occasions that I start going to church, and raise my son in a Godly home. She claimed studies show that families with religious upbringings are happier people. I was very against this. I didn’t like religion. I thought Christians weren’t intelligent, and were followers that weren’t capable of thinking for themselves. Now, I had gone to church several years earlier when I was a young adult. I quickly dumped God. The church I went to, as it turned out, had some very extreme and not very Christian like views. I figured all Christians were that way, and I wanted no part in it.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago. Kylan was about to turn 1, and I felt like something was missing from my life. I have it pretty good; a stable job that pays well and allows me to stay at home, good friends, a supportive family, and a wonderful child. But there was this empty space in my heart, and even with all the wonderful relationships in my life, that empty space remained. Out of the blue, I wanted to ask a very good friend of mine some questions about God. I’m going to refer to my friend as Grace, because that is the gift I have received because of her. I explained to Grace that I believed in God, and that the moment I gave birth to Kylan, I felt like a connection was established with him. But I had questions, and doubts. I didn’t think I could find myself to believe that Jesus was the son of God, and that he could absolve me of all my wrong doings. I told her that I wanted to be a good person, and that I wanted Kylan to grow to be a good person too. Lastly, I mentioned that if I were to die tomorrow, I was not at all confident that I would go to heaven. I didn’t think it was possible, but all of the answers Grace gave me seemed completely logical.

Grace offered to send me a few things to help me delve further into what it means to be a Christian. She sent me a bible study book, a prayer journal, and even a little bible for Kylan. She even knitted me the most awesome book bag! I purchased a bible. The night I got it, I decided to start reading it. Having little knowledge of the bible, I had no idea where to begin. So I just opened random pages. I felt like God was speaking to me, and that the scripture I was randomly reading was tailor made for my eyes. Over the next several days, I fell down the rabbit hole into a world I never knew existed, a world with God by my side. I was hungry, humbled, and filled with grace. I felt like I was evolving into an amplified version of myself. I worked on my bible study and read from my bible for a couple of hours a day. Then, it happened. I was sitting in my room, and I felt the presence of God. I felt a warmth surrounding my whole body, and I was filled with simple happiness. The kind you don’t even have to analyze, it just flowed through me. I did what I was waiting for the perfect moment to do. I accepted Jesus into my heart. I confessed all of the wrongs I had done, and asked to be forgiven. A weight was lifted from my shoulders, and the empty space that was in my heart was filled with God’s love and grace.

There are some people in my life that are not Christian. They are annoyed by Christian’s, and feel the way I used to feel. I know my new life won’t be accepted by them, and it won’t be accepted by people in the future as well. But it doesn’t matter. I have this joy that I want to share with the world. I want to live my life for God, and spend my time on this earth completing his will. I don’t know what his will is for me yet, but this blog feels like a good start.

5 responses to “A lengthy introduction.

  1. Angie says:

    This is awesome.

  2. Lainie says:

    It’s wonderful that you’ve been called to share your story and spread the word of the glory of God. I look forward to following your posts. It just takes a little sharing of God’s work to plant a seed in someone’s mind. I pray that this blog will help lead someone in their journey to Christ.

  3. Hurray!! Such an awesome way to spread His word!

  4. drstruck says:

    Beautiful! Welcome to the family my sister. Praying blessings over you and your son.

  5. Like a previous commentor said, Welcome to the family!!! This was really an awesome, awesome story. How precious of the Lord to start speaking to you immediately as you began reading His word!! I’m so excited to get to know you 🙂

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